Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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