Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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