My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize