the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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