Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
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I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
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woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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