I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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