If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
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He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
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He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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