I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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