I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize