I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
it's like heaven, but drunker
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
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