WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
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