fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
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four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
My bed smells like the plague
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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