You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize