the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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