Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
40s are totally the cure
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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