She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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