this just has baby written all over it
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
