you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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