Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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