Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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