I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
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She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
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I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
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