got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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