If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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