dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
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I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
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Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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