McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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