yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
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