I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Pants are for mortals
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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