i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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