yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize