It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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