that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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