i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I cut my penus on the lid.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
he just fucked me for my cheese.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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