hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
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