Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
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Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
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i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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