Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize