thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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