Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
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She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
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i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize