Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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