I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize