I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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