If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize