Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
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I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
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I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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