Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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