I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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