somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Dick very happy bro
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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