I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
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Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
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We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize