They should really pass out barf bags in church
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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