I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
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Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
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I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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