Are we in a gay sports bar?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
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Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
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I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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