McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize