I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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