I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize